2-3 hari lapas, aku tarus2 tepikir kan ex ku, she was not exactly my ex, we never officially beeing together, sepatutnya awu jadi couple, tapi nda sampai

8 years

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2-3 hari lapas, aku tarus2 tepikir kan ex ku, she was not exactly my ex, we never officially beeing together, sepatutnya awu jadi couple, tapi nda sampai pasalnya aku tepakai kan bini2 lain. sampai pass few days ani, aku nda pernah rasa bersalah or even think of her at all. i met her once few years ago, before im married, before she was married. i know i should see that as a sign bah banarnya, a sign to be with her, but i didnt do anything apart from saying “Hey how r ya”

im married, got two lovely kids, twin, a boy and a girl. but there is somthing about my life that im not happy with, maybe its my wife, ia mcm…cana ah? kasar bah, makan hati ku bah selalu, caranya bercakap apa membuat hati ku terguris. perbuatan tingkah lakunya jua, tapi ku diam kan saja nda ku ingau jua demi anak anak ku, then pas few days ani, tekanang ku kan my ex atu, ia lamah lambut, becakp sama aku hormat, tapi aku lah yang salah dulu atu, we should be an item.

bahagia bah ku rasa masa sama ia atu, tapi ganya dulu atu aku balum paham apa kebahagian atu sampai ku kahwin, baru ku teklik yg aku ani banarnya nda bahagia. aku rasa yang aku ani nda bahagia.

nda ku tau kenapa whats has gotten into me, runsing ku, mcm tarus2 kenapa ku tepikir kan ia?? kenapa now?? ia kahwin sudah and happy bah with her family. sampai ku sanggup cari ia d FB then sampai ku cari online, last last i found her on instagram, i created an account, since i dont have one, just to contact her, i dm her tapi no reply, i guest i should get the hint kali ah, she dont want to contact me.

ia baik orangnya, i should be with her, aku rasa banar banar bersalah buat ia mcm what i have done, i just left her hangging nda ada kata apa apa, kami rapat, yatah pernah paling ku rapat dulu tu sama bini2 pasal ia pandai mendgar, she was my best friend, aku tau ia menaruh harapan dulu atu and i should bgtau ia yg aku sayang kan ia, tapi inda….aku tejumpa bini2 lain, saling tukar gf, sampai tah ku kawin

kenapa sekarang kan? apa tujuan tuhan membuat ku sadar now??? aku rasa bersalah arah nya, yatah lapas ku nda sama ia atu tah, yatah tu ku rasa now, the turning point of my life, the turning point of me being happy and strugling to be happy, padahal kebahagian ku atu kana bagi sudah dapan mataku, ia atu tah kebahagian ku sebenarnya, i hope i can say this to her

maafkan aku Siti Zarinah Jamil kerana melukai kamu dulu

aku memilih bini2 lain atu sebenarnya aku menipu diriku sendiri, now i have to live with the guilt antah until bila

New Confession

Imma naked n*gga like Tarzan, shirtless rage like I’m Jesus Christ, woah, that bittch is frisky!

Gzuz 187

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