I sleep way too much to the point were I miss out on life in a big way. The world feels so damn dark most days that I don’t feel like contributing to it. Most days I won’t so much as speak to anyone. I’ll wake up in the morning and look outside and think ‘nope’ and go back to sleep. I want to fall in love with the world again but don’t know what I can do to get out of bed. Somedays I get on with it but other days I just can’t or won’t or whatever. The guys in my family (a majority) are military minded, the women too and they know about picking yourself up and carrying on as a soldier. Thing is I’m not naturally a soldier and I hate that about myself. I loose the war often and it s**** so hard. How do you cope when you feel like your f****** your life up?