I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years. It started when I began college, and somewhere I knew that she was a good person. But slowly, I understood that she was not. I don’t know if she is lying, but the way she does things – is exactly opposite to what I feel. She says she is a r*** victim, but she has never shared it with her parents – she demands attention and pity from me, and blinded by this fact, I gave in. I forced myself to be happy with her, and moulded my own brain to make her happy. There moments when we were physically intimate, but we didn’t went all the way to have penetrative s**. She slapped me when I opened up about my past crushes and relationships, she refused to let me hang out with my friends, she hated it when I spent time with my family, saying that I never spent time with her – mind you, all throughout college- I didn’t make a single friend, other than whom I was already a friend before, because of the nagging fear of what she might react. She could manipulate me with emotional blackmail – she would sometime call me in the middle of the day of a holiday, saying that she wanted to see me, and if I refused, she would threaten to cut her wrist or jump off a building. I forced myself to be whoever she wanted me to be, just to make sure she didn’t hurt herself. She stopped doing that – when I was completely shut off from others and I was only available to her. After some time, after my college finished, I got a job and this is when I realized that I had shoved all my feelings and acts aside to make her happy. Somewhere it was my saviour complex to help a r*** victim to become a better human being. And after a long drawn out thought, I decided to break up with her – which she responded by saying that I took advantage of her emotional instability – and that if I wanted to break up with her – I shouldn’t have become physically intimate. She tortured me for a long time – almost three months – my job performance started dipping, and I hate going back home from the place where I work, because she lives in the same city. She refused to break up with me – and initially begged, then shouted, and then threatened that if I didn’t get back with her – she would inform her parents of this – and put all the blame on me. I don’t know if I am a bad guy – I probably am, and I still cry in the washroom of the place that I work. I have to force myself to talk to her whenever she messages me – and I have no other option, than spend my life with a person like her. If you are reading this, and you are sad that you are not in a relationship, trust me – don’t get into one, and let life do its magic – don’t force yourself to get into a relationship with a person you feel pity for. EVER. I had thought of killing myself for two months – and now I stopped it. Nowadays, I don’t think about killing myself, but I would not mind – if something happened. I’ve lost my will to live – I’ve been branded a r*****, when I didn’t do anything, and I feel worthless.