I have no idea if I really love my girlfriend of a year. Sometimes I know I do and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Other times I just want it to end and I’m afraid the only reason we’re still together is because I’m scared to ruin her life. Her kids already call me “other mama” and I don’t know what to do. I fantasize about suicide all the time because I’m afraid of making a decision either way.