I lied to the first man I loved that I cheated on me so he would hate me and won’t try to want me back. He had everything, money, family, friends, and very handsome. I did it because I didn’t have family support, money, or friends. And I couldn’t have him stay with me, and I felt I was just being pitted for. I loved him so much and till this day I would do anything for him. I am married now and my husband has threaten me countless times that he wants a divorce but I have gotten on my hands and knees to beg him not too. I don’t have money, family or friends. I feel like I should just left him leave me but I’m scared what will happen to me. I want my first love back but I know I ruined that for myself.