When I was younger (14-15) I would talk dirty to older men online. I usually cut it off before it went any further than nudes, but I met this one guy who lived a couple cities away from me one day. We kept in contact after me sending pictures and sexting him for awhile, we had video chats and did awful not okay stuff. I felt pressured at first to do it for him, but I eventually got used to it. One day he messaged me asking if we could meet up and do it in person, me, being the stupid and needy kid I was, said yes. I met him at some hotel and we had s**, I let him touch me and put his mouth all over me and I felt okay with this since no one else had ever wanted me like that. I felt dirty after awhile, we met up multiple times and it just got worse and worse. Eventually I stopped replying to him, I cut him out of my life so afraid and upset with myself because of what I had done. I fell into a deep hole, I didnt love myself anymore, I was lost and I couldnt tell anyone ever. Im only telling people online this now anonymously because I feel comfortable enough with what happened. I know what I did was wrong and I wish I could have told younger me it isnt worth it.
