Sometimes I feel like I love you more than myself. There isn’t anything in this world I wouldn’t do for you, but sometimes I feel like I’m too good for you. I deserve so much better and I know that, yet I stay with you because I’ll never love anyone else like this, ever. That’s the scariest part.
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You probably are too good for them. Any woman currently slightly interested in me is too good for me. I know that and that’s the reason it would never work. It’s not even about her it’s all the weight from everybody else and maybe me knowing this.
Also I don’t think they realize what a boring loser life I really am. Maybe they do but they don’t realize they don’t really want me. Also, I’m not a nice guy. I might be NOW (not really, I’m an intolerant asshole), but I’m ashamed of how fowl and ugly verbally abusive I have been at times to people I did care about. So bad, men in these women’s lives should want to beat the shit out of me. I would understand. To my credit, not an excuse, I was crazy in pain, my heart was broken, and I know I can’t again to another woman. I don’t ever want to break it sour again. I often forget what a piece of garbage I was. In my head certain things done, trumped what I ever did, because I did get mine by x10, and not even out of revenge, but just disregard as to how badly it would hurt me