I cheated on my long term boyfriend once with a guy I met in club.We were in long distance relationship.. I felt horrible after I slept with the new guy. I called my boyfriend the next day, I told him what happen and I felt guilty. He said he needed time to process and think about it. He still talked to me after few days and we continued chat each other like nothing happen, so I thought he has forgave me and I was trying my best to earn back his trust. Meanwhile, I also cut off all the connection with the new guy.I even planned to go to Malaysia, see him in person and apologise. After 6 weeks of chatting, he asked me not to come to Malaysia anymore. He said he found someone else, I am his past and he doesn’t love me anymore. I felt horrible and angry. I thought that he was giving me second chance and I was trying to my best to change. He said he just doesn’t trust me anymore and he cannot feel the same way anymore. After that he cut me off. He blocked my number, he blocked me on all the social media. I was so angry and I made the whole situation very complicated. I created a whatsapp with my sister’s number. My sister does not use whatsapp and she never knows about my relationships. I am very deteched from my family and my family knows very little about me. I pretended as my sister and texted him that I have dissociative personality disorder, I never cheated on him, it was hullicination and I often have suicidal thoughts. He was so worried for me. He unblocked my number and checking on me everyday now. It has been 2 months that he is texting me everyday to make sure that I am alright. I am feeling guilty day by day when I receive his messages. I feel horrible that I used my sister’s number without her knowing, pretending as her to manipulate my ex-boyfriend to contact me back and living in this lie…=..what should I do? I am happy that he is still my friend but I am also worried that it might make his new relationship difficult if we are chatting everyday. I am very afraid that he will cut me off again if I tell the whole terrible truth….I think part of me still wants him to be part of my life 🙁