I'm a weakling since childhood. Although I loved my parents and siblings, I have never stood up for them in any way. I used to turn away my face when ever

9 years

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I’m a weakling since childhood. Although I loved my parents and siblings, I have never stood up for them in any way. I used to turn away my face when ever I felt I should be brave and protect them, or fight for them. My parents and brothers passed away but even in their illness I could not do anything for them like to comfort and to take care of them. Today I’m lonely and helpless and many times, I had a strong urge to kill myself and end this miserable life, but here also I lack the courage to do it. I’m such a waste and a loser. I don’t know why god created me like this worthless and good for nothing. I do not have any purpose in life. I’m 58 years old and a loner a big loser as well. I have no idea how to get over this torrent in my mind perhaps by the end of this confession I may not exist although there is a possibility of a withdrawal to live yet another miserable day and night. I pray to god not to create anyone else with this sort of life and nature. Amen!

New Confession

I regularly think about hurting myself. I used to sh years ago but I’m 2 years clean now. But when it gets late at night or when I’m alone, I think of bashing my head into the floor, or taking as many pills as I can. I might think of dying sometimes but most of the time I think of the pain that might come with these things. Like how I might internally bleed or choke on my own vomit. I don’t feel normal. Not when I have these thoughts almost nightly.

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