I hate myself. For not being a person i think I am. When i was a child I used to be mean to some kids,I would made them do pushups and stuff,i never beat

9 years

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I hate myself.
For not being a person i think I am.
When i was a child I used to be mean to some kids,I would made them do pushups and stuff,i never beat them.
My parents divorced and it didn’t affect me so much or atleast I don’t feel it.I feel like i am really fake,i think i am the most disqusting person ever,but i always nice to everyone and it bothers me,when someone asks me for favor I instantly say i will do it,then latet i wish I didn’t and it bothers me.
My thoughts are always self critical and it made me critical of others,but all the critics of others i keep to myseld.I think I am fake and phony,sometimes I envy people but i find myself doing that and get angry at myself.I think i depressed and anxious.Friends tell me that I am smart,but i don’t think I am.I am hypochondriac and it is driving me crazy,I hate myself so much,I male excusess about not going to work or something,I lie to my mother about things i am lazy to do,I hate doing this,I am mean to my sister,not agressivly ,we are always fighting because I not doing anything in the house.I don’t want to do this anymore It hurts me so much,I am really emotional and sensitive person.F*** you me,I hate you!!!

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