I'm so very tired of existing. There is nothing in my life worth staying alive for, no friends, no loves, nothing. I have to stay alive longer than my

9 years

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I’m so very tired of existing. There is nothing in my life worth staying alive for, no friends, no loves, nothing. I have to stay alive longer than my parents though, simply because I can not and will not put them through the pain having to bury their first born child. Once they’re gone though, there is nothing and no one here that offers me reason to continue being alive.

I know it’s wrong, but I look forward to them dying, because then I can finally end my own existence without any guilt or shame following me to whatever, if anything, lies beyond mortal life.

New Confession

My next door neighbor came over with some leftovers , and I asked her to come in for a min. I came into my bedroom and had her come in sit down for a min. I told her that I had a person of question to ask her. I asked her if her and her husband still having s**. She looked at me and said they haven’t had s** in years. I asked if she does she use the v******* on herself?And she said yes. Then I told her that i’ve been having fantasies about her and me having s**. I asked you if it could become true. She said that she don’t cheat on her husband but I told her that he’s not keeping up to his word for the marriage , right. I asked her how long has it been since a guy has gotten her off. She says it’s been years since she’s gotten off with another guy. I asked her if I could try , and she said , yes. My\nHead around dress in my room , and I got dressed and I went down on her to see how she tasted. She tasted fantastically , and I had her guide me into her , and I slowly started pumping her. All of a sudden, she started getting off from me f****** her and it felt so good feeling all the witness coming from her clip so I started pumping harder and faster.And she really started getting off, she kept c******.I think I got her off five times. I asked her we could do this more often.And she said yes. Set alarm Tuesday morning, she would come over after my brother left for work.And we get it on every tuesday morning , and she was loving it.

Related Confessions

I hate myself so much for my attachment issues. I always hurt the people I care about because I get attached easily and start caring too much. When someone I am so attached to stops messaging back, paying attention to me, and caring, I do crazy things to check if they are online and just ignoring me. I don’t stop until I discover who they are giving all their attention to, and then I’ll start stalking the person they talk to more often than me. It’s way worse when it’s out of the blue, which makes me more inclined to find every piece of information about that person. I know I am in the wrong for doing this, and after the person eventually finds out about this, I panic and pressure them to forgive me and stay. I don’t justify my actions, I do believe I’m weird, creepy, and evil, but I care too much to let the person go. It works a lot, and I feel like a manipulator. I want to stop seeking strong friendships and relationships because I know that in the end, both of us will end up hurt. The harsh reality is that I also go crazy when I don’t have anybody to obsess over. I can never win.