I feel so awful. I’ve felt bad before in my life, but I don’t think it’s ever been like this before. I did something very bad. I’ve talked to my mom and she said I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still feel this intense guilt. I think she is being soft on me because I’m her kid, or maybe she doesn’t understand. I wish I could go back to when I was in highschool, when I hadn’t made this mistake yet, and maybe I could learn more about consequences and this wouldn’t happen. In another life. I’ve never wished that I could be a different person more than I do right now. It’s crazy because everyone I’ve talked to says that they don’t think I did anything wrong, even other people who witnessed it. It makes me worry that I am lying to them, but when I think back over what I said, I’m not lying. I don’t know what’s going on, but their reassurance doesn’t soothe me. Soon, I’m going to tell my therapist because I cannot deal with waking up every day and feeling this way. And I know that when I tell her, if I truly did something wrong, she will be obligated to report it, and that’s how I’ll know for sure. I’m afraid, but I don’t think I can live like this either. I can’t change the past, so there isn’t really much else to be done. I either live a life in guilt with this secret, or I tell her and get in a lot of trouble. Both options s***, but it’s my fault. I’ve always tried to be a genuine and honest person, so I’m going to tell the truth and take the punishment. (Also, if this message made you worry, no, I am not going to kill myself, and I did not kill another person. I don’t actually know if I really did something wrong, but I feel like it so badly. I have trouble with paranoia like this, often. It feels good to say everything that I’m thinking even if it’s ridiculous. Thank you.)