I have so much to confess .... my life revolves around lying.... I'm on the verge of losing everything.... my home my car my life my loved ones.... I am a

9 years

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I have so much to confess …. my life revolves around lying…. I’m on the verge of losing everything…. my home my car my life my loved ones…. I am a drug addict…. I can not stop…. I am powerless over the substances I use crack cocaine and alcohol …. I want to stop …. but I don’t ….. I don’t want to stop …. I’ve never been so torn I honestly want to stop …. but I don’t want to … I want to not have the desire …. I love my children my family but I can’t stop …. I may lose my children my family but I can’t stop…. I have stolen begged sold myself hurt ppl for this…. but I can’t stop… at one point I told myself I’d die for it… I’d go to jail for it…. I can’t stop …. I hate it but I can’t stop …. every aspect of my life depends on it but I can’t stop… it’s a everyday battle that I lose…. I say I won’t do it today…I can’t do it today …. if I love my kids I won’t do it…. but I do it anyway …. I am powerless over this and it controls me …. every part of me as bad as I want to resist I can’t … I hate myself for it yet I can’t stop… I’m in trouble yet I can’t stop …. I find every way to cheat fake manipulate everything just to do it… I can’t stop… I have given up all morals all standards all self respect I have to do this… yet I can’t stop … I have hurt people physically emotionally… people I love … my children… yet I can’t stop … I am beginning to lose all hope…I feel as if This will always be my life there’s nothing I can do I will lose everything in spite of myself for this one substance…. how could something have so much control over me… how could I let something have so much control over me …. I am lost… a shell of the person I once was… I smoke crack cocaine …. an I am going to lose everything in life that had ever mattered to me … and I just can’t stop myself…..

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Theres pisss all over my body

Pissmaster

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