Real Life Rape Victim. I was 14 when I was raped. It happened in my bedroom, right after I got off the school bus and went into my room to change out of

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Real Life R*** Victim.

I was 14 when I was raped. It happened in my bedroom, right after I got off the school bus and went into my room to change out of my school clothes. I was already out of my jeans and pulling my shirt of, when he grabbed me, pushed me on the bed and in one motion had my p****** off. I was shocked embarrassed and humiliated. I didn’t want him to see me naked like that. My heart was pounding in fear.

While he was undoing his trousers, I jumped up and ran for the door, He was quicker, blocked my way. He shoved me away from the door and he tripped over his half undone trousers. I ran past him, into my parents room but before I could close and lock the door, he pushed his way into the room. He was naked and his erection looked terrifyingly huge.
His erection was way too big for me. It was sticking up and bouncing while wobbling from side to side. I knew I didn’t want that hard thing rammed inside me.

I tried kicking him but he grabbed my ankle and pulled my leg towards him. I fell backwards onto my parents bed. He grabbed me and pulled me close, and I could feel his erection like a hot steel rod against me. I kicked and hit him and screamed at him. He just threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried me back into my room. He said we needed to do it in my bed so that every night when I went to sleep, I would think of him and remember how he raped me and was deep up inside of me.

I beat him about his head and shoulders. He grabbed a rope from his trousers and tied my wrists together and bound them to the headboard of my bed. My wrists were held above my head exposing my bare b**** which he fondled and explored. He pinched my n****** until they stood up for him. I hated him touching me. He put his mouth on my b**** and bit each erect n***** until I shrieked. I twisted and turned my body trying to get away from him as he pried my legs open. I felt so ashamed and dirty when I realized that I was wet as he easily slide his fingers all over my lips.

I screamed in pain as he pushed his hard rod into me. I squirmed in pain trying to get out from under him. He smiled and kissed me. I turned away and called him a b******. He said he liked a feisty girl as feisty girls make good healthy babies. This threw the fear of pregnancy through me like a lightening bolt as I felt his erection deep up inside me.

As he rammed in and out of me, I hated myself because my body responded to his thrusting. He shoved my pillow under my bare bottom to hold me up higher. He said it helped him get in deeper to get me pregnant. With the pillow he thrust in much deeper. I groaned in pain as I was impaled on his shaft thrust after thrust, deeper and deeper. It felt like his erection was going to going to come out of my chest or throat.

He continue to r*** me mercilessly ignoring my pain and groans. I felt sure I was bleeding from the deep impalement. I just wanted it to be over. It seemed like forever before he spurted into me. I could feel the heat as he gushed into me. I could feel the hot impact as it hit inside me. Much as I didn’t want it, I orgasmed in response to his hot fluid and the pain. He laid on top of me telling I had to hold his c** inside me so it had time to penetrate me and get me pregnant.

He told me that his c** would be absorbed into me so he would always be a part of me. He said I would never be able to get it out. He said his c** would affect any baby I would ever have so even if I had another man’s baby it would be molded by his c** and would really be his. I felt so filthy for having his c** deep inside me. I wanted it out of me as if it never happened so I could be clean again.

I gave up and cried feeling defeated, hating myself and disgusted with the fact that I had an o*****. I was fearing that I might get pregnant. He slowly pulled out of me and I could feel the emptiness inside me as his shaft withdrew. He made me keep my bottom up on my pillow with my legs spread open and pulled up toward my head so his sperm didn’t run out of my opening. He told me if I didn’t obey him he would leave me tied naked to my bed for my parents to find. I sobbed and obeyed him and kept my legs spread wide open while he gazed at my naked body. He took a smartphone from his trousers and took pics of me spread open for him as I pleaded no, please no.

Then he made me taste him as he put his shaft in my mouth to be licked clean. His c** tasted sweet. I licked it clean. I licked the drops oozing out of his shaft. He dressed and said he had to go before my parents got home. He said he hoped I was pregnant. He warned me to keep everything a secret. Then he untied me, he took my p****** and bra and he finally left.

I felt so destroyed, so ruined and so dirty. After he left, I took a long hot shower but couldn’t wash off the feeling of disgust. I never told anyone about the r***. At dinner mom said I was unusually quiet and wanted to know what was wrong. I just told her I wasn’t feeling well.

Every night I went to bed, I relived the r***. The horror of it and my disgust with myself as I fingered myself and got wet just as I did for him. Real panic set in when I missed my period. What am I going to do? What will I tell people? How would I explain I was pregnant? What happens to my life? During the days, I was OK as I went through my daily routine, school, chores, homework.

It’s after I went to bed that I felt the world close in on me. I was desperate, depressed and lonely. I wanted to run into mom and dad’s bedroom and tell them about my nightmare but I couldn’t do it. After a while I accepted the fact that I was pregnant from the violent r***.

I felt like his w****. I remembered the whole thing. How I fled in terror but he captured me. His shaft piecing me while my n****** stood erect and I got so wet. My wrists tied to my bed and the pillow propping me up so he could impale me to get his sperm deep inside. The hot explosion of his c** shooting in me. My own shameful o***** and the emptiness I felt as he withdrew his shaft.

I recalled how he humiliated me making lay there spread wide open for him as he took pics while his sperm swam around inside me. I remember the sweet taste of his c** as I licked it from his shaft. I missed my p****** and my bra that he took from me. I felt so violated.

I started thinking about having a baby. I even had a dream that my r***** was in the delivery room with me. My legs were spread wide open for him once again as I lay on the delivery table about to birth his child. He told me I was a good little w**** and he would always be inside me. I woke up in a cold sweat, horrified. What was I going to do? Where would I go? My parents would be so disappointed in me. Who would help me with my baby?

My period came. It was nearly 2 months late. I was so happy and excited that my life was back to normal. But deep down for reasons I don’t understand, I felt a bit of sadness for not being pregnant. Like I lost my baby.

I still have dreams of lying n*** on the delivery table while my rapists takes pics of me spread wide open for him. He tells me I am his good little w****. He takes close-ups of my opening and how wet I am. I know my wetness will help the baby come out. My n****** are standing up. He touches my c******* and I o***** for him. I wake up abruptly out of breath. I recall how he said I can’t have another man’s baby without it being shaped by his sperm. How his c** will always be in me forever. How I already absorbed his c** into my body.

Every night I go to bed, I relive the violent r***. The horror of it and my disgust with myself as I fingered myself to get wet just as I did for him. I am ashamed but I can’t stop thinking about it, thinking about him. I can’t have an o***** unless I think about him r***** me. I keep clothes pins the drawer beside my bed, which I clip on my n****** to remember how he pinched and bit each one. I even put the pillow under me to prop my bottom up in the air as I spread my legs wide open and finger my wet opening. I remember his sweet taste. I think about how I absorbed his sperm. I think about having his baby. I am disgusting but it’s the only way I can get relief.

He is right, his sperm is still inside me and will always be part of me. What he did to me, how he humiliated and punished me will always be me. The pics he took of me will always be out there. I don’t know who he has shown them to. I worry about who will see them.

When I go out, I see people looking at me and I wonder if they have seen the pics of me spread wide open. I wonder if that is why they are looking at me. Are they thinking: Isn’t that the girl who was raped, the one who got so wet for her r***** and who had an o***** while she was impaled on his erection? Isn’t she the girl who spread herself wide open while her r***** took pics of her n***? She’s the one with his c** inside her She’s the one without any p****** or bra. Isn’t she the girl who wants to have his baby? She’s his little w****.

That is now me. That is what I am. I am his little w****. I dream of him r***** me every night and I o***** for him. I wish he would come back and r*** me again and make me pregnant.

New Confession

I spent a lot of quality time over coffee with my MIL. We talked about anything under the sun for hours. Usually when my wife went out shopping or for lunch with her 2 sisters. One day she seemed abnormally quiet and when i asked what was on her mind she said that she was worried i would leave her daughter because she had heard from the other 2 that my wife had shut down s** in our marriage. She said that she knew i loved my wife but that it was clouding my judgement to accept a marriage witbout s**. I got pretty down about hearing the quiet part out loud at all even worse from my MIL who i had great trust in and respect for. She said that while she knew she should think of her daughter first she worried because she knew that i turned a blind eye to the topic and that she was also aware from the other two that my wife was making snide remarks about me m***********. She said she knew me well enough to know that i would never seek an affair but feared that that made me too vulnerable. As the conversation unfolded i admitted that i had considered paying for s** and she implored me to not do that because of risk of disease. Sad as it was i told her that my biggest reason for avoiding it was that all i would want from an e***** would be to be held and talked to while i masturbated but even then it would feel pathetic and lonely and i would not get the fulfillment of knowing i had given pleasure to someone else. She said she understood and we conversationally moved on to other topics.

Weeks went by and it did not come up again but we were rarely alone. But i should have expected she would bring it up again when the moment and privacy allowed. It was more embarassing for me because she said that one of my sisters in law told her that my wife had been making comments that i was being moody and quiet and that i should probably go to a h***** or j******* or something. I was actually angry about the fact that it was being talked about between the women and my MIL said that she got that but what i should be angry about was that my wife showed such disrespect and disregard to shame me to others especially her family. I had to admit she was right and she told me that both her other daughters had agreed to stop listening when my wife made such comments and to tell her to knock it off. I told her i felt really embarassed because this also meant that my SILs’ husbands doubtless knew my situation and all the comments as well. More weeks went by. The sisters go out shopping and my MIL and i are at her table again talking around the topic and she said the issue was not going to go away. I told her i got that but that there was no changing the situation. She left to go to the bathroom and when she came back as we talked about other things she eventually called me out on having been looking at her cleavage in the neck of her robe. I was so ashamed and tried to apologize but she actually laughed and told me to shut up because she had deliberately been showing her cleavage because she felt i deserved to get a peek at a woman occasionally. Then she did not say another word just looked at me and of course i could not stop looking now. It was not like she had huge breasts but the neck of the robe was open very low. I could not speak at all. She reached to the neck of her robe and pulled it more open and lower. All i could do was keep looking despite how awful i felt about what i was doing. She shrugged the robe off her shoulders revealing her breasts down almost to the n****** and by now i was so nervous and paralyzed sitting there trembling. She smiled at my facinated staring and thanked me fo4 the compliment. We sat there for what seemed forever until she spoke my name to get my attention, and just smiled and nodded at me and told me to not deny myself. Feeling so helpless and pathetic did not stop me from reaching under the table as i sat across from her and opening my pants to touch myself under the table. I was lost, slowly stroking myself as i stared at her breasts and sometimes able to look her in the eye. She told me to take my time and enjoy the view and what i was doing. She could tell when i was getting close, telling me to relax, to let it happen, and when she untied her robe and allowed it to fall off her shoulders and breasts completely i lost it and grabbed the edge of the table so tightly as my other hand milked my pleasure out of me. It was so emotional when she placed her hand on mine on the table edge as i moaned and emptied my desperate lust. When my contractions ended she continued to hold her hand on mine as i caught my breath. All i could do was look at her as she smiled, letting me keep looking as she sat there casually bare breasted and smoking a cigarette, eventually even lighting one for me then going to get me a washcloth then sat back across from me as i sheepishly cleaned myself and closed my pants and my face burned as she giggled as i cleaned my puddle off the floor under the table. She just watched as i rinsed the washcloth nervously and sat back down unable to even look at her. She reached over and stroked my cheek and told me to stop overthinking it. Then she asked me to not talk and to just listen. She told me to not read too much into this, but that it was something that yes felt like a betrayal of her daughter but that it was actually one of my SILs that had the idea and the other one convinced her it was a solution to the problem. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die but she made me promise to try to not be embarassed or ashamed and that the three of them (MIL and both SILs) were on my side so to speak. Otherwise there was no need to overtalk or overthink it whatsoever. Over the next months it happened regularly, my SILs simply told me the next time i saw them that they would never treat me badly but that i needed to be braced for the occasional discreet teasing about it in subtle private ways. The first few repeats were only at my MIL’s initiation, she would simply look at me across the table and smile at me and i would pleasure myself as she slowly bared her breasts. She was never impatient nor made me feel like it was a chore. She slowly began to ramp things up over time. I was so turned on by how she would sit there holding my eyes with hers smoking as i stroked myself. I felt like i would pass out the first time she told me to give it to her, to c u m for her. I obeyed as if hypnotized when she told me to stand up and let her watch. She always made it exciting every time. She started to seductively stroke her breasts as i did so. She started sitting close and eventually put my free hand in her breast. Eventually made a new rule that i be naked when i did it for her telling me i owed her the view. I barely kept my balance the first time she had me stand directly in front of her and held her breasts up and told me to milk myself onto them, even casually having a cigarette aftet as she had me clean her breasts with a washcloth. She eventually had me lay on the sofa as she sat across the room and watched me spend hours pleasuring my body for her. Eventually let me lay my head in her lap suckling and nuzzlimg her breasts as i stroked myself. I realized how emotionally addicted to her i was the day i sat at her table after her daughters left and after they left she walked into her own kitchen completely bare and had me follow her to the bathroom so i could touch myself while watching her shower. Even eventually as she lay covered in a bubble bath as i stood looking down at her and as i got close she lifted her torso to let me empty myself onto her wet breasts then had me watch as under the bubbles she pleasured herself while keeping my eyes locked to her eyes. I cherish the day she waited until they left so she could come into her own living room bare and kneel and watch me as i stroked myself for her to watch, then when she knew i was close, stood and took my hand and led me to her bed. She laid back with open thighs and reached up to me and pulled me close, her arms around my shoulders and her legs lockiing around me as i gasped when i entered her as she said it was ok, to just let it happen, we could take our time the next time.

I deeply value the time that both my sisters in law told me how much they cherished me bringing love and passion to their widowed mother’s life. How she had simply wanted to let me feel like a man again but how it had let her feel what a woman longed for again, a true lover for herself as much as her being my lover. After my MIL passed away those two sisters in law and i grieved together. One of them had divorced, and after several weeks tbey both sat me down and told me that she (the divorced one) wanted to fill their mother’s role in my life and i vowed to them both that i would do everything i could possibly do to bring her the joy that i had had with their mother. I am in my 60s now as they are and somehow it is even more fulfilling as time passes and my SIL and i are lovers just as equally as their mother and i were.

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