last night i did something and i don’t know how i feel about it. basically this guy i’ve been talking to over the phone lives 3 hours away from me but we’ve been texting back and forth and calling everyday for a little over a month. i’m planning to meet him in person for the first time in october. i am 15. he just turned 16. today at around 4am we mutually decided to m********* without going on mute, like i usually do. he went first, i started breathing really heavily and dirty talking him and i heard him breathe and moan and it was literally the hottest s*** i’ve ever felt. i’ve never gotten so many damn butterflies. my heart has never pounded so fast. just the thought of him beating it to me makes me wet. i went next, i was breathing incredibly loud because he was dirty talking me and breathing loudly and i actually surprisingly finished- but it was not a normal climax. i was shaking for hours afterwards and i’m still shaking now. i felt incredibly anxious and i couldn’t sleep at all when we decided to say goodnight. my heart is going ten thousand miles an hour and i don’t know how i feel. i don’t know if i feel guilty, ashamed, naughty, good. all i know is that i really really f****** enjoyed it. it was the hottest s*** ever, better than any other p*** video i’ve seen. he’s so different, i’m only 15 and i gave him the idea to do this and now i’m the one feeling anxious about it all day. i’m a virgin and have never done anything before with a guy other than kiss. wtf. i feel so weird. but it felt so f****** amazing.