I alledgedly threatened my neighbor with a fake replica long submachine rifle. My neighbor is an elderly woman, I think 67.I was arrested that day,

7 years

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I alledgedly threatened my neighbor with a fake replica long submachine rifle. My neighbor is an elderly woman, I think 67.I was arrested that day, thencop at my door had a real gun pointed to my chest and told me to show him my hands. That is difficult when you are under a towel naked, ready to hop into the shower. I did not want them to see my breasts.
I was scared to death. I had a panic attack and an ambulance was called. When I reached out for someone to hold my hand because I was scared, no one held it. They shoved sedatives down my mouth whereas a simple, caring gesture of holding my hand would have made me feel secure, less alone, and less panicky- all medicine free.
I still have nightmares (this happened a few months ago). I am an outcast in the community now and am scared I won’t get a job. I want to thrive and grow as a person but no one will let me move on. I’m scsred- I could get up to four years in jail. And a relative told me the police officer should have shot and killed me. Maybe I’m not even human anymore- people don’t treat me humanely anymore. I am not worthy of love or happiness.

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38 f divorced. The waiter that I went home with last night. He asked me if I was ready for a ponding. I said yes Grand Ma needs a ponding.

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When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.