Why is this world so, so cruel? I was recently placed on probation and as a condition, I have to do community service blah, blah, blah. Anyhow, I got a

7 years

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Why is this world so, so cruel? I was recently placed on probation and as a condition, I have to do community service blah, blah, blah.
Anyhow, I got a good position at a local hospital. As a part of this, I work with a nurse in the baby nursery. One day, I had a really cruel nurse with me.

I heard a faint cry coming from a crib towards the back. I went over and saw this beautiful baby boy laying there, alone, naked, and crying. He was laying in his poop. I ask the nurse about him and she said he was born to drug addicted parents and was just waiting there for a foster home to open up. I ask why he doesn’t have a diaper on and it is because he gets frequent diarhea from drug withdrawal. The nurse cleans him and tells me not to waste any time on him- he would grow up to just be a waste on society anyhow. He didn’t deserve anyone’s time or attention. I was shocked.

When I wasn’t under direct supervision, I went back to that baby boy. He was still crying the saddest cry you ever want to hear. I started rubbing his shoulder and working my way down his left arm to his hand. Almost immediately, he stopped crying. He even tried to lift his head and turn it towards me, as if to see who was there, loving him. I just sat there for hours, rubbing his arm and he had his whole little hand wrapped around my finger. The mean nurse came in and said she couldn’t believe it- his blood pressure was normal for once and she wanted to know what I had done, like it was a miracle. I told her I just showed him he was loved and wanted in this world.

I wish I could take him home and love him forever.

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When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.