8 years
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The guy that I always had a crush on finally notices me. He flirts with me and he even invited me to eat. But I just notice that I don’t like him as much as I did. I notice I was so obsessed with wanting and loving him. But everytime he doesn’t text me or checks up on me I feel so sad and angry. What is wrong with my feelings. Maybe a year ago this would had been the best thing ever but now I’ve have grown up and realized a lot of stuff. I know I should tell him how I feel but I’m not going too. I always want to speedster myself from emotional conversations. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I can like him as much as I did before. But maybe not. I hate myself for this but it’s how I feel and I can’t change it. It it so selfish of me. P:/

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When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.