My first love happened when I was 17 years old. My mother called a private home tutor for me since a big exam is coming soon. He’s teaching me math because that’s what I’m worse at. He’s 19 too by the way so nothing creepy. I’m a very slow learner so I know this guy was kinda frustrated to teach me but still keep his calm. He was so nice to me too. I was so shy to look at him in the eyes. The third day of his teaching, I realised I really liked him a lot. We continued like this with him teaching me like always while I stay quiet about my feelings for him about a month. He gave me his number at the end of the month, I knew it’s for “educational purposes” but I can’t help but to hope it means he have some “interest” in me or something. Sometimes I texted some question that I managed to answer to him just because I want to talk to him. Sometimes we talk about our life too, just for a bit though. Few days later, I found out he have an instagram account. I couldn’t help but to stalk it and get myself hurt. He already have his own girlfriend. They look so happy together. I couldn’t help but to get myself heartbroken, I even cried to sleep. It’s embarrassing, I know. I never cried over something like that so it’s a first for me. He was still nice to me. He stopped talking to me when I got my exam result which I ended up getting a good grade on it. I guess he only see me nothing more than a helpless student. I never liked anyone after that until now.

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