I binge eat daily when I’m alone. I feel this insatiable hunger, even if I’m not really hungry. At first it feels comforting, pleasurable, numbing all the bad thoughts and feelings I’m too much of a p**** to deal with. Then I loose control, and it’s so hard to stop once I start, because there’s no one around to stop me but myself, and I’m not capable of stopping until I feel like I’ll explode, or my stomach is in too much pain to continue. Then comes aftermath: guilt, shame, digust with my impulsive behaviour and my body. I feel even more guilty because every time I gorge myself on junk food, I sabotage my physical health too. I know I could be feeling better, doing more valuable things with my time other than eating away my emptiness…but, I can’t stop. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how many times I tell myself I will never do it again because of how miserable I felt. I will always turn to food because some messed up part of me still thinks it will make me feel better.