I hold too many grudges. I hold a grudge against my classmates, i hold a grudge against my friends, dammit, i even hold a grudge against my mother! I kinda “forgive” them, but it’s more like “i’ll ignore the feeling of punching you in the face because i don’t think you actually meant to hurt my feelings that badly” than actually forgiving. I still feel so much anger and hate. I’m still hurt inside, i just don’t show it. And every time they make me angry again, all i want to do is make them kneel and feel miserable and pathetic, but instead i just pretend i don’t care and keep apathetic. I actually would never be able to do something like that, and makes me even angrier, like, i try so hard not to hurt anyone and to treat everyone with all the respect a living being deserves and then they just come and think that being in a bad mood is an excuse to disrespect me. All I ask is for you to treat me the way I treat you, you bastards!! It’s not f****** impossible, if I can control myself you can do it as well! I’m about to collapse because of that, it feels like i’m surrounded by insensible troglodytes. Shakespeare was right when he said “When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools”.
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Amen. And it’s like pulling teeth to get them to respect you because your lot in life is to just be glad anyone bothers with you at all. They all deserve to die. For every transgression. I wish I could kill them in front of their loved ones over and over again. I feel your pain. I do.