I’m 43 and have never used recreational drugs in my life. It just wasn’t for me. I started drinking and smoking in high school but drugs never appealed to me. My friends popped pills and smoked pot around me and it never bothered me. They had their thing and I had my bottle of booze. A few months ago I had some lower back pain that felt very much like the pain I experienced last year with my first ever kidney stone. I went to my doctor early this time and he sent me for a CT and handed me a script for 20mg oxycodone. I’d used pain meds before but had never been given one so strong for pain I was able to manage before with loratab and Tylenol. I was hurting but not that bad, maybe a 7 on a scale of 1-10. So I took one…and it was awesome. I felt light, a little blurry, euphoric. I’d never been high before. I couldn’t wait to take another one. This was so much better than getting drunk. I was having the time of my life. I took one every 12hrs, as directed, for three days. It was incredible.
Well, the kidney stone passed and all is well. I stopped taking the pills but I had more than 40 left. Since then I’ve been taking one or two a week just for the high. I wouldn’t say that I’m addicted to them since I’m not using everyday and it’s not ruling my life. The problem is that I can see how it could take over my life. And I think about how wonderful it would feel to surrender to the desires. I understand how people become addicted and die using this stuff. It’s so easy and makes you feel so perfect in every way. I thought about just throwing them away to rid myself of the temptation but i just can’t do it. They are too special. I have these pills but they don’t have me…yet.
