Truth is, is I don’t know what I want, and I’m not even sure how I feel anymore. My parents are divorcing and both have cancer. My momma has breast cancer, and my Father has leukemia, and prostate cancer, and to top it all off my momma’s fiance’ has major heart issues. She’s working two jobs to keep up on her bills, and as wonderful luck has it her sister, her only sister is dying. I am her son, I’m 19 I’m finally graduating highschool, and struggling with my own problems as it is, such as myself joining the military, my s********, and my own bills (car insurance car payment etc.), along with my faith and religious views. I know this is the confusing part in a persons life but I am just completely unsure of what to do, where to turn, or even who to talk too, but what I do know is I needed to just say what’s on my mind. For instance I don’t wanna give up my new found military career, I love it, the sense of pride I get in uniform, and how it actually makes my parents proud of me, even my father which is probably the hardest thing to do in my life, and I love how I’m following in family history with the military, but I just can’t leave my mom or father hanging like this. They raised me to be a man, and I’m trying to live up to their expectations, and neither one of them wants me to leave, but when both are struggling to breath, and theirs no one their to help besides myself, then I feel it falls under my obligation and duty to help them, in every way possible. I mean doesn’t it sound sane to drop what I’m doing and be the man they raised me to be in the first place? Now the recruiters, gave me a choice, and flat out told me which either choice their on my side, they said they feel for me, which makes me feel alil better, but I still have no idea what to do. The choices are, 1 get discharged and focus my complete attention on my folks, or 2 go back to M.E.P.S. and renegotiate my contract and get a way later ship date. I mean I would love to go with option 2 but I mean what if something happens? I won’t be there to comfort either one of my parents, to tell them everythings gonna be just fine, to be strong for them as well as with them. Now the other downfall is if I discharge myself, which won’t be a dishonorable, and focus my entire attention on the situation, and everything works out for the best in the best circumstance possible, and I decide to join back up, what if they change rules? For instance, what if they make a rule stating that if anyone who was in a future soldier program, or delayed entry program and got discharged, cannot rejoin. I mean I just don’t know what to do, give up my dream/career, or do everything I can for the loved ones who raised me against their wishes. Do I take the chance and leave and may never get to rejoin again, or do I do what I think I am supposed to do as a son first and a soldier second?
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and that day my friend no one gave a holly care. I understand been there in a sort of way and done similar of that! shit happens. turn to god! or drink?