I’m so pathetic. I want attention but I push it away. I am so stupid and ugly. Everyone tries to cheer me up but I don’t believe a word. I always walk away from my friends and avoid them all the time. They usually don’t notice I am gone. I’m so quiet and unimportant. I’m only pushing them away for attention. Nobody texts me. Nobody asks to hang out. Nobody cares. I don’t deserve friends. I wish they would go away. It’s for their own good. I was doing so well last year too. I wasn’t depressed, I wasn’t pushing people away. It scares me that I am only doing this for attention but I cannot stop. I don’t know what else to do. Dying will not stop this torment. I only self harm for attention now and I hate it. I want people to notice me. I want good friends. I don’t have a best friend anymore. I want someone I can tell all my secrets to. Venting to a person you just met is really awkward. I know they hate me. Everyone does.
