I am depressed. I am considering suicide. I have pills hidden, an inhaler tucked away, my notes written, and a blade that are all to be used for the day when i finally give up. I cut, but rarely bleed, i cut the skin off my feet; thin enough to hurt like hell with every step but thick enough to stay hidden from my parents. I do not believe in God, yet i attend church and say grace with my family and at my friends house. When i was in fifth grade, my mom told me to give her the sick and broken duckling while i slept so i didn’t crush it. i didn’t and when i woke up he was underneath me; i told my mom that i had woken up with him in my lap but he was dead. I was the one who killed my friend’s dog, I let go of the leash. I hate where i live and when my only friend moves away there is a good chance of me going numb. I was bullied so badly that i quit going to school and am now home schooled, i told my parents that i was just tired of trying to decipher pigeon talk during class. I have not cried in one year and three months; not when my brother broke my toe, not when my friend sent me pictures of her bloody wrist criss crossed with new and old scars, not when i was told my great grandma is getting sick. I have been accused of being heartless and pride myself for my ‘stone’ face. i am fourteen years old and live in Hawaii. I have been falsely accused of being racist and have had racist comments thrown my way. My seven year old sister was attacked on her way home form school and told that she was a “F*****’ b**** w**** who needed to die in pit with your f*****’ family too.” by a third grader who as she was leaving screamed “rot in hell b****.” at her and all i did was tell my sister to stop crying. I like it when my dad is deployed, i still love him but i don’t like him in our house. I am not afraid of death.
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Please dont…get some help. Talk to someone. You can get throught this and find happiness.
Iv received help through https://www.youtube.com/user/ChannelHigherSelf may you too lovely !
Oh, a suicidal? These are fun!
Your story surfaces to my interests. However, your mind has gone to waste, causing you to be like most insufferable humans.
You claim of being heartless? Tsk, tsk. You don’t know what heartless is, darling. I find that adorable!
I can go on and on about you and your “pitiful” mind, but I won’t.
Regardless, you gave me the opportunity to laugh. See? You’re actually useful for something other than throwing a pity party for one.
– &.
You’re only 14.
Your mind isn’t even fully developed. Seriously, live it out.
Get out of the home when you can. Once you start to explore the world, you won’t want to kill yourself. There’s too much to miss. What about the future? Don’t you want to see what happens like the people from (let’s say) the 50’s see now from then? It’s an ever-changing world and you’re going to miss out on a lot if you decide to leave.
As much as I dislike assholes like #3, I have to agree with what they’re saying about being heartless. You wouldn’t be posting here if you were. You wouldn’t be thinking about the animals if you were. You’re looking for some kind of relief by posting this, you have some feelings.
One year isn’t a long time, by the way. And many people don’t cry over things. Don’t think it’s anything special or edgy or whatever.
don’t give up. talk to someone about it.
the thing about having a ‘stone’ face isnt such a bad thing. I do the same thing XD