Here it is. It’s has been

Here it is.
It’s has been 1 month that I’m with my Joey. I hate to say this but we’re very different in the social rank. But who cares! I liked him for who he is. When I am with him I’m happy.
He’s an amazing guy. Very ambitious and very responsible.
The past has made him a very tough guy even emotionally.
He never said he loves me and still I’m not asking for that… But I’m scared.. I don’t feel myself in security…
I don’t want to give more than I receive.
And most of all, I’m afraid I’m with him just because I really want to help him get out of his mess and show him that life is simple, and wonderful.
But how can I do that, if he thinks way too much and complicate things and make me think with him.
1 month, I can’t leave him because that wouldn’t help him at all… instead of helping him I’ll be making his situation much worse.
Last time we were together, I was in his arms, and he was amazing but I don’t know if it’s me or I didn’t felt that we were right for each other, or maybe I was just afraid that he doesn’t love me. 10 min later, I feel the complete opposite and for the first time I tell him “I love you”. (And btw, he didn’t reply, he just kissed me – no big deal anw -)
Because of him, I think way too much. I’ve never been like that.
I don’t know what I want anymore or even what to do.
One day he’s this amazing guy who makes me live a fairytale and open the door to me every time I want to get in the car, the next day if I slept suddenly and I was so exhausted at 11 and didn’t say good night, he’s the guy that doesn’t speak to me and go to sleep at 3 am without even saying a word to his girlfriend.
I really really don’t know where I am, I don’t know what to do.
And still, this is the light version of everything that is in my head.

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