Dear God, Are you up there?

Dear God,
Are you up there? I’m writing to ask you a few questions, even though I never believed in you. I’d like to know why I’m always the one who gets her heart broken. Ever since what happened when I was little, the same scenario has been repeating over and over again. I’d also appreciate it if you could just explain to me what happened. I loved her, I swear. I know I’ve been with a lot of girls but this one was special. I still love her… I don’t know what I did wrong. I never thought anyone could love so deeply in so little time. No one had ever loved me before… I treated her right! I know I was a little too dependant but I was afraid to lose her! Am I being punished for my love?! I haven’t eaten in days, I live at night and run away from the sunlight. My body is weak, and I had never cried this much in my whole life. I would like to understand what I did to deserve this. I know I’m a good person, I know I have a really sweet heart! I believe in treating people the way I’d want them to treat me… And that’s why I pampered her so much. I had hope in our couple. I’m crying right now, too. Where did I go wrong? What made her fall out of love in a couple of days? I know she was stressed but all I was trying to do is be here for her! We always used to work really hard, hand in hand, in order to make everything around us so damn beautiful! She left a hole where my heart used to be. People have been abandoning me forever, I thought it had finally changed. I thought I had fixed my life! I know I used to go out with a lot of girls, but all I wanted was to be loved! I found love in her eyes… I know she was in love with me, I’m sure. My life was suddenly wonderful. She wrote me letters and poems. My family adored her! I don’t understand…
God, if you’re up there, I’d like to understand. Could you at least make this happen? Don’t I deserve this? My life is ruined anyway. If you’re up there, I’d like you to take good care of her. Watch her every move. Don’t let her get too hurt, answer her prayers… Let her life be the complete opposite of mine.
I don’t believe in you, but you are my last hope.

With very doubtful love,
-TTSP

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