Been with the same girl for 12 years, married, with a 3 years old girl together.
Last summer she cheated on me once with a coworker.
Break with her for a month and a half than we get back together. She is feeling guilty so much shes now doing everything for me, but im having difficulties to get over all what happened last summer.
I am now having a crush on her cousine, which is also one of my friends girlfriend, and i think she’s also having the same feelings for me.
Feeling completely fucked.
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I don’t mean to make you feel any worse, but you should know that most people who are victims of a cheating spouse never regain the full amount of trust they previously had invested in their spouse. 12 years is a very long time, yes, but in my opinion, no amount of time is an excuse to forgive cheating. You have to find out why your wife did it and judge her on whether or not you can see yourself trusting her for the rest of your life. Because if you can’t, it’s best you end it now. You don’t want to waste the rest of your life constantly looking over your shoulder. The chances are slim that she has a really good excuse for cheating. Otherwise, it’s just not worth the lifetime of pain to stay with her. It’ll be harder now to move on, but much, much easier in the long run.
T.A.
For once, I don’t agree with T.A.
I personally think you did the right thing… Of course like T.A. said, victims of cheating spouse can never fully invest trust like before… But it’s not impossible… Time and Love can heal that.
Anw, now you’re talking about her cousin. You are of course aware, that you’ll be then equal. But let’s not be it.
Why don’t you talk to her? or maybe go on vacation with your wife… give it a chance.. try to bond again.. It could help!
One more thing to add, know that if you cheat on your wife.. first you’ll enjoy it.. but if there is one thing in common with what you see in movies is that cheating will automatically bring proplem.
Be Honest with her. And with yourself.
K.O.W.
K.O.W., you say a cheating spouse can never regain complete trust, but then you say it’s not impossible. Which is it?
Personally, I doubt there is any excuse for cheating. I obviously advocate to take each case separately and judge each separately, but more often than not, without a doubt, the relationship will never be the same and will eventually end.
T.A.
Both of you have valid points. I have chosen to come back with her for 2 reasons : i still have feelings for her and i want the best for my daughter.
Everyday im suffering for what she did and it kinda destroyed my vision of life. I sure that if i cheat on her it will only make things worst, especially with that girl. But i’ve always been a good trustfull boyfriend before, and it didn’t save me from being cheated. It makes me just wanting to watch the wolrd burn.
But for those 2 reasons i will try to let time and love make things better. Im just hoping that to feel better soon in a reasonnable future.
4, I really hope you do feel better and learn to forgive her. If you are never able to do that, don’t be surprised. And she better not be surprised either. Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to a person.
T.A.