I am just so fed up with everything in my life. Like i can’t even…
You go through life planning ahead. Planning for the future. Everything you do now, will benefit you in the future. But what if it ended here? What if i die. Every single thing that i planned for the future will all just be gone. Everything. But will it matter?
If i die, the earth will continue to spin, it won’t make a difference. 7 billion people will continue living. All the stars in the galaxy will remain the same. NOTHING WILL CHANGE. But i don’t understand. If nothing will change, what is the point of life? More specifically, what is the point of me? Me living? My heart pumping, Breathing every single second of every single day. Everything will be the same. At least it will stop the pain in me. I deserve it all. I’m just so dumb and stupid, no friends, no family, i mean i’m 16, girls like me should have friends, or at least be happy. I don’t even know why i am on this website confessing to a bunch of strangers. What is wrong with me? When i was 13 my dad hit me and abused me and told me i was the reason of their divorce. I was a wimp and i still am. I left my baby brother, my poor baby brother with that monster, i rather let him kill me than hurt my baby. Now my mom and my step dad are living in this apartment together. I have food, a place to sleep, and clothes to wear. And my selfishness led to him being tortured. My mom pays for the rent and she tries her best, but what can she do. I am bullied every single day of my life, never once in my life was i happy. My “friends” betrayed me and used me. “you’re fat and stupid” “you lesbian! Try not to stare at the girls changing in the locker room” “no sluts allowed” Like i don’t even know why they call me lesbian, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having short hair. Or not affording those 200$ sneakers everyone’s wearing. Or it’s because i don’t shop at Forever 21. And i don’t like Starbucks , Dunkin donuts is better. See i’m so stupid I’ve got off track. Anyway, im just gonna leave it as that, last confession. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I hope i don’t go to hell, for being a selfish b****, but i deserve it anyway. Adios :_: