I really f****** hate myself, all I’ve done my entire life is try to become something better than what I feel I can be; I have trained at a gym since I was ten because I wanted the best body and fitness(which looking back now is impossible for me because I will always see myself as a fat slob if I so much as eat a mars bar)
I also only ever try be the “nice guy” but the only way I can do that is to literally not say a word that may insult someone, waist my own time listening to peoples sob stories and then have them forget that I did that and go back to treating me like s***, or let someone else “win” in every sense of the word because I feel that their happiness is more important than mine.
And the worst one , the main reason I hate myself so ,is because I do all my good deeds and services because. I think I will get something from doing them, kinda like Karma, but that shouldn’t be how I think; I should do good things because I want to , not because I want a reward .
I have never told anyone this and I don’t plan to
Sorry for the long rant