When I was 15 I had a miscarriage. I was happy because I wasn’t ready to become a mom. The babies father had a girlfriend and still now, 2 years later he has no idea what happened because I told him I wasn’t pregnant. I drank, smoked and did other things because I lied to myself enough to believe I wasn’t pregnant. Now I feel guilty and I wish I had my baby, is it bad that I thought a baby would keep you in my life?