growing up my mother called me all kinds of names ..she called me stupid so many time i actually started to believe it..she told me i would never graduate high school & i did. i did all while working a part time job to help her pay bills bc we struggled..all while my older brother sat at his computer and played video games. she has always favored him..why?idk..after graduating she held up my diploma and his diploma from a few years back and told me that mines was FAKE..MY HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA WAS FAKE! bc it didnt look like his.
We always struggled to make ends meet and as soon as i was old enough i went out and got me a job to help her pay bills while my older brother sat at his computer desk and played games.lazy b******…last year i got pregnant with my now 4 month old daughter..i worked up until about 6 months pregnant doing heavy lifting and standing on my feet for 12 hours at a time with no break.all i did was go to work, go home , go to sleep , wake up & right back to work. Every week i would give my mother a very large portion of my small check and all she would say was ” Thats all your giving me?” ..Not ONE thank you..that pissed me off but whatever…on valentines day i was running very low on money & i spent my last $50 on buying her a gift and all she could say was ” i dont like that scent” ( it was a very large gift basket with all kinds of different things including bodywash) ..that made me sad..i was so sure she was going to like it :(. She is extremely ungrateful. she never stops to thank god for what he has given her ..she should be thankful that she has a roof over her head and food in her fridge to eat bc so many ppl do not have that..every time someone gives her a gift she takes it, puts it away and never touches it. when someone gives her money she does the same she does to me..she s**** her teeth and says nasty things like “cheap b******” or “this little bit?” i dont like the way she is. she is very bitter probably because she has struggled her whole life but she does not understand that once she becomes a more positive person she will allow that positive energy to come into her life. she is very bitter, negative & emotionless. much like most of her family members.
i am still at her side today because she is my MOTHER and raised me alone & despite all her flaws i love her..but one thing i have learned is what kind of parent NOT to be.. I learned so many things that you should not do..i had such a horrible childhood bc all my mom complained to me about where finances and as a child i was always worried that we would lose our apartment and have to live out on the cold streets , i was always scared that we wouldnt have enough to eat. I was very afraid of my mother because she would always hit me..i was very afraid to express myself and tell her about my new ideas bc she would call me stupid and tell me to go play and as a result i grew to be a very insecure girl who is so afraid to open up….i would never say this to my mother but i want to be the opposite of that i want so much better..even if we are struggling, i will nvr tell my child & i will fake it to my death, i will never beat my child, i will always allow her to be her self how ever she wants to do it , i will always listen and tell her how smart and beautiful she is…..sorry mom