Objectively, I have everything I need to be happy. I have two great friends, lots of technology, money, a home, an education, intelligence, caring parents… I have so much more than half of the world; I was born privileged. Rationally, I should be grateful. I should love and appreciate all I have. I’m not bullied, I don’t have any *serious* disabilities, financially I’m well set… So why do I feel so sad? I don’t want to be ungrateful.
I have no right to be unhappy.
And some people are so… Important. I want leave my mark, a footprint on the sands of time, but I’m too scared I’m not worthy. I feel like I’m the kind of person who could just drop dead, and the world would spin on, and no one would notice…
I don’t know. Maybe this is part of puberty. Maybe I’m depressed. All I know is that I’ve been in this funk for the last couple of years, and I can’t seem to dig myself out. Sometimes the facade can drain you until even you yourself have no idea where it begins, and where it ends. I feel so alone.
I’m paralyzed with fear.