12 years
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I keep telling my friends that I’m no longer interested in this girl that I felt like I maybe possibly had a chance with some time ago who I’m still really good friends with.

The truth is I’m still crazy about her, and the only reason I tell my friends that is because I’m a f****** worthless coward that fears rejection. Once I learned that my friend really liked her, I felt like an unworthy piece of filth so I backed off. Things were awkward between us for a while, but now we’re kind of close again, not like before, but it feels really nice. My problem is that I would feel extremely guilty for trying to pursue a relationship because my friend really likes her and has made that clear, I would feel extremely selfish because I already had a chance and blew it, and lastly, I still feel like an unworthy p************.

I’m trash

New Confession

My art therapist/group therapist and I were having an illegal affair. I would write secret messages to her and she would read them and respond to them in person. She would do favors i asked of her, like wearing outfits i asked her to wear, she’d even do me s***** favors. I made her a google drive full of p*** of me and then crafted a puzzle link to get to it that only she could have known. The link was a tinyurl with three phrases in the url that only she could have known. We would walk for an hour every day and swing at the park. I would write her poetry and play love songs for her every day. She broke the rules to play mario kart with me constantly when her boss was out. We had something magical. But she would never communicate directly with me because sge was afraid she’d lose her liscence to practice and her boyfriend and house, abd when I pushed her to unmask and be real, she told me I was wasting my time. Well that pissed me off and I crashed out a little abd she used that crash out to get me kicked out of my group therapy program. She wants out and I told her she’s not allowed to want out. I told her If she doesn’t reach out to me and continue this affair, that i will report her and get her liscence taken away and if that doesn’t work ill find some other way to ruin her life. You dont go from gooning in the bathroom at work to someone to throwing them away in the same week. Thats fucked. I’ll post her name here soon if she stays quiet and doesn’t reach out to me.

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