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Ok this is really fucked up, but it’s something i’ve never told anyone and i really need to.

when i was 17, which was more than 25 years ago, some friends and i did something terrible. there was this annoying kid who lived in my neighborhood, and one day we were cruising down the road near his house. we were all stoned as s***, as usual. anyway, on the side of the road we saw this guy’s cat walking around, and we had the bright idea to pull over and s***** him, so we did. it only took a second. i was driving.

we left the neighborhood and drove around for awhile with this cat, whose name was lucky. i have no idea what the f*** we were thinking of, we just thought it was funny to take this kid’s cat. then it got fucked up.

somebody, i don’t remember who (but not me), started saying we should just kill lucky. f*** that kid, kill his cat and so on. to this day i can’t figure out exactly why things went down the way they did.

somehow, we all got on board with the idea and decided to do this thing. kill this guy’s cat. we ended up down in the woods behind this one guy’s neighborhood, way the f*** down in there. we didn’t have a gun or any weapons, so we had to just beat him to death. this one guy, who was really into it, put lucky up on this log and held him by the tail. he whacks him a couple times with this big stick across the back. we’re all yelling and s***. looking back it all seems so sick. what gets into a group of people to make them feed off each other like that?

we all took turns giving lucky some whacks. the poor fucker was all hunched down, claws digging into the bark, just scared. i remember he was p****** and shitting all over the place, but he never really tried to get away.

it didn’t last long, we weren’t torturing him or anything. we realized he was dead, and that was that. we smoked a joint and said let’s get the f*** out of here. the one dude that was holding his tail in the beginning said no let’s take lucky with us. we were like what in the hell are you talking about, but then again we were pretty stoned so he brought the cat with him.

we came up in the parking lot area and nobody was around. there was a jeep there with no top on it, wide open. we decided it would be hilarious to ditch the cat in there, so we put lucky right there between the two front seats, on his back looking up. it seemed like the height of funny to imagine the guy finding a dead cat in his jeep.

like i said i have no idea why i did that s***. i was wracked by guilt afterwards, and i still consider it to be the most heinous s*** i’ve ever done. i never intentionally hurt an animal like that before, nor since. there was just some kind of mob mentality going on, i guess. nobody would back down and say hey guys let’s get a f***** grip here, the game is over let’s bring lucky home already. i really wish one of us had. i was the oldest it should have been me. i knew it was wrong but… i went along with it anyway. is that how all evil things happen?

f*** man, i’m so sorry, lucky.

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