Know what it’s like to live with depression? It’s believing life is subjective, that happiness comes from within and that overall happiness with life is how we experience it subjectively. Then you have to wake up in the morning and you feel like bashing your head in. You have to begin each day over and rebuild yourself. And some days, you just don’t want to. The meds, the techniques, the mediation and yoga b******* all fails and you just want to lash out, to feel anything but that damn numbing sensation. You purposely let your anger go, hating something, anything, usually yourself because it’s better than attacking someone else. Love, happiness, enjoyment, they become beyond you as they require so much effort to experience, they almost require another person to help seed the emotions so you have something to bounce or reflect off of. But hate, anger, that’s easy. And so you begin to hate yourself, beat yourself in an emotional rollercoaster just so you feel something. Then you distance yourself, not wanting to explain or confide. To curl up and hide while you whip yourself over and over again, creating scars on your heart. Or simply stop existing, letting the numbness take over and disappear into the sweet escape of sleep, to run away from the deadzone inside you.