My life is getting out of control.
A month and a half ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I really cared about him, but I felt like he took me for granted, and we didn’t have that much in common. Soon after that, I met another guy. We went on a few dates, and we had so much fun together. I thought that my life was going to turn around. That things were going to get better. But then he dumped me, saying that he just wasn’t that into me.
My grandpa is suffering from ALS, and he doesn’t have much time left. Honestly, I’ve been praying that he’ll just die for so long. I know that’s an awful thing to say, but he is in so much pain. He can’t do anything by himself anymore. He can’t move, and he communicates my moving his only hand that still has function.
My dad lives in Florida, and I haven’t been able to talk to him much, and I haven’t seen him in 3 months. And it s****. Because I miss him. I miss him so much. I sit in my bed and I just cry sometimes. And no one I know gets it. No one I know knows what it’s like to grow up having your dad not know you. Having the constant thought that while I’m missing my dad, he’s raising someone else like he would be raising me. And that hurts like a b****.
Not even six months ago, I was suicidal. This summer, things really began to look up for me. But, now, I’m slowly slipping back into the old routine of self loathing and pity.
And none of my friends even bother to ask me how I’m doing.