I love my girlfriend. We are in a very serious relationship. We’ve talked about the possibility of marriage and we’re both on board but agree that we need more time together and that truthfully the timing wouldn’t be ideal right now as we’re both still developing our careers and both on the cusp of something great.

But I hate her dog. And it burns my heart to say this because she loves her dog and truthfully her dog needs her. But her dog ONLY loves her and everyone but her is some sort of devil out to harm her. She has bitten me on more occasions than I’ve admitted to my girlfriend, she barks at me whenever I’m nearby, she is terrified of me when she isn’t around, and if I even think about touching her she bares her teeth and is ready to chew my f****** hand off.

But the poor dog is epileptic, has terrible separation anxiety (I’ve never seen an animal this bad before), has a severe thyroid condition, and just in general hates the world as much as she’s afraid of it. Except for my girlfriend. She was rescued from a home where the previous keepers simply bred and bred and bred out of this dog. A harsh life, I understand and feel for her. But…

This f****** dog can get away with murder. She can do no wrong. She is constantly praised, never scolded, has more stimuli than a rich only-child, does whatever it takes to get whatever she wants, shits wherever she pleases and pees only on our clothes. After I’m bitten she gets picked up, coddled for a few minutes, then gets to be by herself for an hour or so.

First and foremost I am a huge animal lover. I spent twenty-five years living on a horse farm taking care of several dogs. And none of them ever had such poor behavioral issues. Perhaps it’s my approach to raising dogs. Not abusive in anyway but a firm hand, firm tone, and strict guidelines go a long way. This dog doesn’t get any of that and it shows.

I’m worried that if this dog lives long enough (epileptic) to see us have kids… What’s she going to do to them? I have no faith in this dog ever letting me touch her and frankly I’m fine with that. I just don’t want to have to wear my high school catcher’s shin guards every time I walk into her house.

I f****** hate this dog.