I was advised to not have any children because i struggle with having a personality disorder. Children make me happy and I’m a natural with them. I decided to not have any children and now I’m being pressured to go back on an anti depressant. I want to get help but i want to do this my way. I need to learn coping skills, learn to communicate with others better, learn how to regulate my emotions, and medication has only helped controlled my actions – left me feeling like a zombie. I fear that if someone who knows me gave me a compliment for what i have done right or choices that i have made such as me deciding to not have kids, i would probably would feel a need to cry and not know how to handle hearing a compliment. I’m sad inside.