i am so sorry i have been under so much pressure i failed to make it to a blessing today and ended up at a place i usually go to dance meet other women and it was one rejection and disappointment after another and i finally couldnt quell the pain within me and stumbled to p*** and feel terrified of possible madness to come and yet could not stop myself and i have so much pain inside and i need a girlfriend and i need something good to break my way and i need REalGrace which means do bad get good because God is loving and Merciful so i really Need this This time not just fancy words or else i may kill myself