12 years
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I hate myself more than words can say. I hate myself so much for what I have becomr. I’m an addict, I’m viciously, dangerously dependant on other people, and I wish I just wouldnt wake up anymore because ever simce I was nine or ten, Ive always hated myself for being alive–if I werent here, those around me, my family too, would just be better off.

And I have been living with this guilt and self hatred for going on fifteen years now. And I just want it to end because I feel like I have no future, no set plan, and Im just a vainglorious, pathetic loser who truly is alone and its no one else’s fault but my own. I hate me so much. I hate me. I hate me. I hate me.

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