My cat got bit by another cat while outside and died from toxic shock. I have pictures of him at the hospital hooked up to all the machines. I have pics of him right before he went in when he was getting sick. They’re on my phone. I suggested for him to go outside that day since it was nice out. It’s my fault he died. I signed the do not resuscitate order with one resuscitation allowed. I pulled the plug in the end. I would trade my life for his. I don’t go to bed on time any more. At night is when the ghosts come out and I’m up until 4am at least. I want to blow my head off. But I have two other cats so I can’t. I have the pictures on my phone. I can’t talk about him. I don’t have anyone in my life I can talk to. I am too successful, too well known, to tell anyone I’m actually crazy. This is why all these celebrities kill themselves but I can’t. He was such a good cat. He should be alive right now. I want to trade my life for his. My life isn’t worth much and I already lived far longer than expected. It’s done. There needs to be some way developed to do this. I don’t know how. I don’t want help or sympathy, I just wanted to tell someone. I have no one to tell except these stupid confession sites.
