Two years ago, I had the love of my life ripped away from me, without any closure or notice. Prior to that, I had been battling with substance abuse and a crippling depression, which had likely pent-up enough over the years to cause my life to fall apart completely fall apart in one night. It was enough for me to change my life, and to clean up, but the fallout was upon me. I had lost nearly all of my relationships that I had with my friends and family, leaving me incredibly lonely and empty.
I have not loved anyone, or even felt close to somebody ever since that night, and I feel it slowly taking a toll on my well-being for the worse. This seemingly never-ending loneliness is what got me into substance abuse in the first place; although I don’t think I could ever go back to that. Instead, I spend almost every minute of free time on the internet, looking for things to distract me from my thoughts, regrets, and painful memories that seem to be on the forefront of my mind nearly every single day.