I hate how I portray myself to my friends. I wake up everyday depressed and on the verge of tears but the minute I see them some sort of switch goes off and Bam! Not depressed. Just normal. All but one of my friends think that I’m perfectly happy and fine but in reality, I’m struggling with my medical issues, controlling my self harming, and overall depression. On top of it all, I can’t get over a stupid relationship that only lasted 3 weeks and desperately long for an ex who is quite literally unavailable. I lie and say I’m over it because I risk alienation if I don’t. I’m sick of this. I hate being sick all the time, I hate to resort to cutting, I overall just hate myself in general.
