I feel like something is very wrong with my brain and sometimes I can't even explain what I'm feeling, it feels as if my brain is getting turned to mush.

12 years

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I feel like something is very wrong with my brain and sometimes I can’t even explain what I’m feeling, it feels as if my brain is getting turned to mush. On top of that I’m mentally sick since about 11 years (I’m almost 20). I tried to kill myself 3 times in the last 3 months and I just can’t do this anymore, I’m constantly afraid of EVERYTHING even grocery shopping, I can’t date, I can’t even f***, I can’t do anything and then this thing with those feelings in my brain. It’s currently 3am where I am and I think about killing myself or at least trying to because then I will have some peace for a while with the other mental problems. I just wanna die, I don’t know what to do.

New Confession

I fell in love with my best friend. I may have fallen so far in love that every day brings me pain. Not when he’s there, then I’m happy. Truly happy. Like everything matters and I can feel like myself. But I’m so lonely being apart from him. It’s like a part of me is missing. So we’re moving in together. As friends. And it kills me. But I need it. And now he’s dating a girl. And it kills me. I think it’s making have hateful, mysogynistic thoughts towards women in general and I don’t like that part of myself. I’ll never get to be with him and it f****** kills me.

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