I have a lot to say.. I don't feel good with you, you don't make me happy. You don't understand me. When we talk, it's like I'm speaking chinese to you.

15 years

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I have a lot to say.. I don’t feel good with you, you don’t make me happy. You don’t understand me. When we talk, it’s like I’m speaking chinese to you. You don’t understand my sadness, my pain, you can’t understand that. You’re strong and you’ve always been. I’m not. I don’t think you’re in love with me. I think I am, though.. But you know, last day I watched a movie and they were talking about relationships that click. That “SHE’s the one!” feeling.. I’m not feeling that with you. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since my last partner. Maybe it’s because I’m not who I used to be.. But that excitement, that passion, I think it faded.. I’m so afraid to tell you that, I’m so afraid to tell you I’m crying right now. We talk about everything boring, never about serious stuff. I know you’d laugh at me if we did. I really want things to work between us but I’m soooo f****** tired. What we’re going through is so hard, physically and mentally. I don’t know.. I don’t wana lose you, though. You mean a lot to me, and I want to protect you. It’s like you’re this fragile little thing I have to take care of. I miss you. I’m lost.. I don’t know. I don’t know if you love me, I think I do so I’m gona say it here, you won’t see it. I love you.

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