do not think my illnesses are some put on because I am suffering badly with this rotten middle ear infection that has felt so deathly and isolating and painful, fearing death almost every night, bad migraines like you can not imagine. blinding headaches to the point I can not read or concentrate on much for too long.

I am awaiting other surgical procedures and scared out of my head, beacause if this thing does not ease soon I feel fearful of what I might do to myself.

this middle ear infection like others have made me feel doomed and suicidal as if life is not worth living at this fearful level with discomfort in the brain and head, the pressure and dizzy feeling.

I fear it getting worse and have been worried of getting a cerebell swelling or mastoidistis … which I do not need, or worse like cancer tumour- I just absolutely do not want to have.

I am in pain and taking what limited medication my doctors have given me because they don’t treat middle ear infections with antibiotics much now- I think this is crazy! especially with hotter weather coming on.

if I still have this infection before surgery for the other thing I will be trying to put it off even if I have to have an argument with the hospital stuff, I am more worried about my ear that the other things at this point. But I have so many health issues that need investigations or semi-surgical procedures I am worn out with anxiety and worry, and desperate sleep deprivation anxiety or just having stupid dreams.

catherine1moloaa birkdale