Maybe I should just end it all... I mean if I think about it.. I don't have friends.. plus, not in a relationship. My job is trying to get me fired... I

12 years

415 Views

Maybe I should just end it all… I mean if I think about it.. I don’t have friends.. plus, not in a relationship. My job is trying to get me fired… I can’t find any job at all. I’ve been looking for the last three months. I emotionally alone and my mom is always yelling at me for something stupid, if she isn’t discouraging me. I’m literally getting drained with dealing with this. I mean I guess I’m depressed and most likely wallowing in self-pity. However, It’s so tiring to deal with this… I had to hold off my dreams and desires to ‘support’ my mom. She complains and says I don’t give her money… or that I’m selfish… For freak’s sake… I give her and my brother everything I can…and I’m literally done. I’m clearly not ready to be in charge of another being… but whatever… my opinion doesn’t matter. my desires and goals can be put on hold. This is probably one of the reasons that I made my desires ‘disappear’ because it doesn’t matter if I them… It’s not like I’ll ever achieve them nor will I actually find someone who will put me first. So, why not just end it all… right here and now…. I don’t care if it’s a sin or if it’s a simple way out… I’ll be okay because I won’t feel anything. I won’t hear anything nor will I exist… I might be reincarnated or I might not… But just offing yourself seems so easy and the escape from life… from reality.. from everything. I’m tired of supporting people who push me around. I can’t have a say in my own emotions, in my own wants, in my own life anyway. I’m not ready to be a ‘parent’ that’s why I don’t have kids.. not to mention I can’t have kids anyway… I’ll have a lot of miscarriages before I’ll ever have one. Will I always have to suffer before I ever achieve anything? I am tired of suffering… so, very tired. That I want it to end. i LOVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING… but I don’t have the love of anyone who can actually hold me and tell me that they ‘Love’ me…. My heart is breaking each time I realize that I’m actually alone… That I’m actually a failure… That’s I’m not special in anyway.

New Confession

BACKSNATCHES & BONERS! EBONY & IVORY! POPPERS & PSYCHEDELICS!

CORVALLUS & ANY HUNG BLACK BUCK!

we out here straight jizzlin

Related Confessions

God not only removed the wrong person in my life but another person connected that was an evil and dangerous criminal God ended their life. I forgive but I am wondering what this person would’ve done had they not passed away. This person wanted to use my relatives address to send me a letter but my relative said they were not getting involved in drama. Had God protected me from more emotional damage or did he prevent a fight or a murder from happening? I don’t mean any disrespect. I do forgive but I am thankful this person can no longer cause chaos or harm to anyone. I still get curious what this person would’ve said in the letter but at the same time I’m thankful God is keeping me safe. God is good all the time. I also one morning said that I’m going to church and that early morning God told me that he was going to give me money for offering and I simply said,Ok God. I go to church with my brother with a developmental disability. Just right before service, this lady that was the piano player that I’ve never met or seen before handed the usher $20 to hand to us. I asked, who gave it to me? What’s it for? He said the piano lady gave it to me and my brother and that we can decide on what to do with it or use it as offering but it was entirely up to us. Without a second thought I placed that $20 bill in the offering. God will bless his own children.