I just turned 16 in July (it is now September). I found out last April (when I was still 15) that I had 5 months left to live, or in other words, until my body would shut down on me. At first when I was fairly younger than I am now, about 14-15 I would get chest pains near my heart. I didn’t think much of it at first until it got worse. When I found out I was going to die, I kept it to myself. I begged my doctors to keep everything between us, as a death wish. My last month would be September, which started just today. I would get scared during school because I would have to excuse myself to use the bathroom because I knew I would have an attack. I distanced myself from my sister because she would be leaving on the 16th this month and I didn’t want to cry more. Lately everyday I’ve been asking my mom if she loved me but she would reply with a ‘no’. I know she’s only joking around but honestly I hoped she did so my leaving wouldn’t affect her as much. I would secretly slip my medicine without people knowing. I barely have enough money to pay for more medicine, but that doesn’t matter anymore since I would be gone by the end of this month. But if I had to confess, I’m scared. I don’t want to die. Not yet. I don’t really know if I have much going for me, but I don’t want a short life. I want to hang out with my family. I want to graduate. I want to experience going to a sleep over or experience going to prom. I wanted to do so much. I wanted to raise a family of my own. I want to live…I want my mom, I’m scared..God