We were introduced by a mutual friend about a year ago. Sparks flew like a neutron bomb.
But she’s married. And Christian. And I’m neither of those.
We’ve spent evenings at each other’s houses, alone. Usually at her invitation. She talked about how her and her husband hardly ever have s**.
Her husband is poly. He sees another girl who was living with them for a while. It’s in the Bible. He’s a man, he can do that. She’s a woman, she can’t.
The s***** tension between the two of us is insanely thick.

As time has progressed and we’ve been “close friends”, I find her insecurities coupled with her inability to make decisions for herself to be major turnoffs regarding her personality. She also has a very selfish and unaware side. She doesn’t see anything beyond her own interests and beyond her little world.

I still wanna f*** her. She still wants to f*** me. I know I would at least do a better job than her husband at that.
At the same time, I won’t pursue it any further. I haven’t even pursued it that much at all. She’s a married woman. I can live with my s***** frustration. I couldn’t live with the guilt.
I don’t know if I would be able to stand by that if she were to give me the green light to go for it.

As it stands right now, my attraction to her is more s***** than emotional. I got myself some distance from her and I feel better. But on the rare occasions we do hang out, the tension is still there.